Positive Birth Stories

A midwife told me this story and it always makes me smile: She was called out to the homebirth of a woman whose labour had stalled when she was nearly fully dilated. As the midwife headed out the door, she had a sudden intuition to bring a certain CD. When she arrived, the labouring mother was tired but determined and ready to try anything. The midwife put the CD on of the old disco hit “OH- Shake, Shake, Shake….Shake, Shake, Shake…Shake your Bootie…Shake your Bootie!!!” And they all danced and gyrated and shook their hips together…and the baby was born. Happy, healthy and naturally.

I went into labour at 29 weeks and heard the words , “You know of course that your baby will die.” I glared at the Doctor and muttered, “Over my dead body.”

Anguish, fear, powerlessness, isolation engulfed me. How could I help this vigorously kicking child to survive? Pranayama flashed into my mind. Yes, I would step back and breathe- the longer I could hold the breath in my body, the greater chance of the baby receiving the oxygen up to the point of birth. My goal- to create a calm oxygen-filled environment within myself where Life as we know it could triumph.

Strong movement indicated this being was “in it”- the fight for the opportunity to live this life. I felt the survival of my child also depended on the degree of control I could maintain over my emotions, mind and breath.

I struggled- now an anguished mother; now controlled and strong as steel. I kept exhorting “you can do this, together we can do this.”- I continued pranayama.

No humidicrib in the delivery room. They wouldn’t need one. Sad the child would die but the midwives would witness another premi birth. Then- “The baby isn’t cyanosed, quick! bring a humidicrib!”

Suddenly I was alone, shocked. A son? A daughter? Had I done enough? Had we prevailed?

We did win. Kachina turned thirty last January, is beautiful and remembers her birth.

Yes, even thirty years ago someone successfully used yoga to facilitate a safe birth against the odds.

This story was published in Australian Yoga Life and submitted by Gayle at specialtybooks@iprimus.com.au

Passing on Experience

I sat in a cafe’ one day drinking coffee and wandering over the internet. I overheard a conversation at the table next to me.
“I was hanging onto the side rail, high as a kite, saying, ‘Is the baby here yet?’,” an older lady shared. She and her friends laughed together.
Another one of the women said, “My c-section didn’t hurt the baby or me. I just didn’t like how long it took me to walk around and get back to work.”
One of the women with them was newly pregnant, and she asked, “When I’m at the hospital, will I be able to have you there?”
The first lady replied, “Why? What could I do for you? They will do everything, and you’ll have a really nice room and a chef to cook for you.”
My heart was broken. While maybe I was listening to this conversation from the point of view of a midwife – and with over 35 years under my belt, that’s a lot of view to have – I couldn’t help but feel so sad not only for this new mother-to-be but also her associates. What kind of world have we devolved into that comparatively horrific birth experiences – being separated from the beauty of the event and being left alone without personal support – are not only normal but widely accepted?
As I continued to listen, I realized that they were, as women have done for millennia, complaining about their births, about the things that they did not like. This is, in and of itself, perfectly natural, but usually there is another side to it that is also shared: the pure peace and joy that comes from a new bundle of love at the end of the ordeal. These women didn’t seem to know how to connect with those parts of their experiences.
On the tail end of sharing this tidbit of pain, they immediately rationalized their experiences (without the joy) as “this is just the way things are, and there really is no other way to be”. The most tragic part was when I realized that their fourth party was a girl perhaps only 16. How were her own expectations about the process of pregnancy and birth were going to be shaped and molded by this conversation and others like it? Their attitude of opting for a hospital birth for “the complications that will happen” made me wonder how any of them could truly claim to know anything about birth, including the older woman who, it turned out, was a labor-and-delivery nurse herself.
I really started thinking about how we as a society have gotten to this point where the traditions and wisdom of thousands of generations have been lost in only a single century, and moreover what the real nature of these negative changes are.
In an over-medicated and interfered-with birth, we are practicing a loss of faith in ourselves, in our bodies and in our community. The idea of a woman being left completely alone to labor without any of the love and support that she needs, to be surrounded only by strangers and machines, leaves a terrible taste. More than that, to imagine an experience as intense as birth being so clouded that a woman is not even able to determine if the baby is out yet is horrifying. Hearing endless excuses for c-sections because her pelvis is too small or her boyfriend is Latin and the child will have a massive head or the induction is taking too long takes me from sadness into anger.
How could we? What have we done? What has happened to the joy of being human in human bodies?
Anger is rooted in fear, and my anger stems from the fear that while we as midwives are striving to educate the public and bring back the beauty of what our bodies naturally do, for every one of us speaking for natural methods there are hundreds of louder voices programming generation after generation to approach our nature from their own far more destructive fear.
That is, after all, what motivated our transition into a mediated birthing system. Between Mother and Child, “they” insinuated the Doctor, the Nurse, the Laughing Gas, the Epidural, the Episiotomy, the Electronic Fetal Monitor, the Intravenous Saline Line, the Forceps, the Induction, the Caesarian Section, the NICU… Eventually, a Mother gets to hold her Child, but only after it’s been suctioned, weighed, poked, prodded, injected, smeared and handled by half a dozen people who are not the Mother. And why? Because something might happen if we don’t.
Any obstetrician will give you a brilliant laundry list of those “somethings” if you even mention it in passing. There could be a breech presentation or a cord entanglement. There could be an obstruction in the nasal cavity or some kind of abnormality in the child’s development. It could be a slow starter, not breathing on its own for a full minute or not responding up to optimum standards. The mother could have had an unknown infection, or maybe there’s something invisible and ambiguous that might escape attention, and then something might happen.
If we didn’t do these things, of course something might happen: A mother might actually have a natural and personally transformative experience through the very ancient process of delivering a child without interference, attended by love and faith.
I wanted to involve myself in their conversation, to take that moment to educate them on the vague possibility of another way of doing things, but I was an interloper and shouldered out quickly. Maybe it really isn’t my place to interfere, but what if I had been successful? What if I had had the chance to share something so simple and yet so profound that they might have even just considered that there was a different way where the somethings just didn’t need all the extra machines and people?
In natural births, complications are seen hours, weeks or months before the delivery, and we generally know how to cope with them. We midwives do not have the luxury of whole wings of NICU and legions of trained professionals to handle the one-in-a-hundred or even one-in-a-thousand chance of complication that may or may not require intervention, but we manage to have usually a better infant and maternal mortality rate than Western hospitals. We know that a babe failing to thrive will truly take a turn for the worse if separated from the warmth and love of the mother. We know that a nuchal cord can be slipped over a child’s head, often while still in the birth canal. We know that there is nothing that the modern science has come up with to replace the bond that occurs at that instant of entrance into our incredible world – though they are still trying.
And this is the real tragedy of mediated births: When children are removed from their mothers, especially in those first fleeting moments of life in the open, the bond is not shattered, but it is called into question in the primal self. It can lead to physical and emotional complications in the first year, during the toddling phases, throughout life, because there is a tiny little seed of distrust in the first and most important relationship in any lifetime. When we allow ourselves to mediate birth to this point, we are creating a gap within ourselves as a society and a species that becomes wider and wider with each passing generation, the violation of pure and innocent trust inherited additionally in every delivery. That gap could well be the cornerstone of the disease of greed and fear that our world thrives on in these days.
These ladies paid their tab and wandered out, still chattering among themselves, and I was left with a bowl of sadness. Was that a missed opportunity, or was it really any of my business to get involved? The truth outside of the Modern Medical Policy is so much more real, but it is not something that can be brought to overwhelming public awareness overnight. Until the foundation of trust in medicine is adjusted to realize that hospitals exist for the sick and endangered – not the healthy and natural – there are no public service ad campaigns or commercials during prime time television that can change the opinion of society as a whole.
But, if we approached it one person at a time, left a silent business card in surreptitious places, mentioned in passing that we are midwives, we are the guardians of mothers and children, perhaps we stand a chance. If enough “one person at a time” conversations take place, maybe billboards and tv spots will eventually help.
In the meantime, we are in the trenches, elated at the clients who come to us pre-educated, ready to be coached and guided towards trust in themselves and their bodies. We wait as patiently as we can for the other women who do not yet know what they were designed to do to wake up and ask themselves if there is another way. Does a birth have to cost these thousands upon thousands of dollars? Is this uncomfortable elastic strap really necessary for the entire event? How did our ancestors survive to grow the human race to this size without intravenous lines and saline drips?
We wait, and we teach when we’re able. It can make us so sad, this waiting, but we also have faith that, in the end, they will wake up, and we will be ready to help.

atexasmidwife.com
Eveith c. Miller Lic. Midwife
A Healing Arts Center
Midwifery,Massage,Acupuncture,Chiropratic
Dallas
214-559-2494
214-414-6950 cell

Mission Work: http://www.onthisrock.org

Both my labours have been long, although natural & unique. I have discovered that babies come when they’re ready.
My second labour was 8mths ago & I remember it like it was yesterday. I went into labour at around 7pm. During the night my husband & I spooned on the single bed in hospital holding hands. Each time a contraction came I squeezed his hand. It was beautifully intimate. I don’t think there is anything more intimate than giving birth (and having your husband there as support). Later I used the fit ball & the all fours position when the pain became more intense. During the whole labour I used the Ujayii breath, visualizing the baby moving down the birth canal on each exhalation. My throat was sore by the end!
After 14 hrs I felt completely exhausted & felt like giving up & using drugs to get some rest. Luckily I didn’t need to. The doctor broke my waters to get things moving and thank fully 2 hrs later our beautiful boy was born…..in the water!! A water birth is amazing, I highly reccommend it. I also have the most relaxed, cruisy baby who adores water!

I was a good twelve hours into labor at the hospital. My sensitivity to the feelings and moods of others were extremely perceptive. I told everyone to leave which included my mother and one of my sisters. I could sense their nervousness and would not tolerate it. I hadn’t taken any birthing classes and my husband had to be out of the country due to immigration proceedings. So it seemed I had myself and the nurses who would visit briefly but offered no coaching or suggestions. The pain from the contractions had me yelling and my dad had to walk way to the other side of the floor because it bothered him so.
At last, my sister Zoe, who was a mom of two at the time, arrived. I immediately felt relieved. She sat at my side holding my hand while I practically ripped hers off with my grip with each contraction. Zoe told me to start breathing! Deeeeep inhale through my nose, long exhale through my mouth. After some time I started to feel a more relaxed rythm and went deep inside myself. Zoe continued to hold my hand and it wasn’t too long after my beautiful daughter, Olivia was born.
That was over fourteen years ago.I often use the deep breathing during meditation or whenever I need clarity in a situation. We all have the ability to do what is needed. Sometimes it takes a sister or someone to remind you. Your body has all that it needs. We are divinely designed!

I was very quiet during my first labour and I realized I had been too tense, too self-contained and too controlling. I needed ways to let go and really loosen up during my next labour. I had heard about the benefits of chanting so I bought myself an “OM” CD and tried chanting to it during my pregnancy.

On the day I went into labour, it was early morning and I was home alone with my 18 month old. I put on the CD and the two of us walked up and down the hallway, holding hands and chanting OM! He thought it was hilarious and he would giggle and giggle.

The chanting and the giggling really helped me.

I could feel my body relaxing- deep layers within me that I hardly knew existed were letting go. It really was like the tight bud of a flower blossoming.

This labour was posterior just as my first one had been and I had been dreading the low back pain.

But through chanting, giggling and visualising myself blossoming like a flower, I found all the pain went away! I thought it was a miracle! I was ecstatic!

Then I got scared because I was home alone and didn’t know how much longer my husband would be. And as soon as I lost focus and felt that fear, all the pain came back.

So I put all my energy into holding my visualisations, chanting and relaxing my body deeply. And it worked.

I know we truly have powers we never knew we had!

Danette Watson (my second birth)

During my third labour, I felt very relaxed so I decided to play with a few “techniques” to see how they affected my contractions.

First, I tried chanting OM (which had been very effective for me during my second birth) but it didn’t feel right. So I tried OO and EE and OH and a few other sounds and then I tried AHHHH with a smile on my face as if I was letting out a big sigh of relief. And that felt SOOOO good so I kept doing it. I had found that right sound for me. I could even feel the different places in my body where the sounds vibrated and AHHH must have vibrated in just the right spot!

Then, I thought about how so many women fear having a really big baby. My last baby was 10 lbs. so I visualized a 10 pound baby while also visualising how big I thought my vagina was. The next contraction, I couldn’t help but tense my whole body and I nearly crossed my legs!!! It was a very painful contraction!

So with the next contraction, I visualised a tiny little bunny this size of a walnut (I had read that bunny babies are smaller than a mother bunny’s birth passage) and I pictured my vagina as big and open as a toilet seat. The contraction that followed was painless but it was overpowering as I felt my whole birth passage open up and it felt that my whole pelvic floor dropped away. It scared me because I knew the baby had just about come out with that one contraction!!!

What a powerful visualisation for me and my body!

My beautiful Tessa was born 2 contractions later into the loving arms of her father.

Danette Watson

I had four children at home, all under 5, when I found out I was pregnant again. It took some getting used to but I finally settled happily into the pregnancy and looked forward to our last baby being born. I spent the pregnancy looking after myself and really getting the house and our family routine organised so we could all enjoy each other. My pregnancy was happy and our house was peaceful and content. I went into labour and everything was progressing normally until I started to feel the urge to push. Then everything suddenly stopped. My labour just petered out. No one was sure why. I started to worry as the nurses and doctor began suggesting interventions. My instincts told me I needed to be alone with my husband. Once we were alone, I realized I was scared to have the baby because it felt like the wheels would fall off the cart! I had our life organised and running smoothly but I doubted my ability to do this with this new baby. We talked for about 10 minutes about how we could manage together. Then my contractions started again and I had a beautiful baby girl. It was a powerful lesson to me in the power of our minds and our fears to block birth but also to trust your instincts and what is “coming up for you.” I needed to Embrace Change and I did!

I gave birth to my first baby recently after reading and listening to the CD in your book which was a gift from my sister.

From the start I admit I read the back pages first. I was worried about the birth and not being able to do it without “help”. Anyway it seemed to make sense to me and next I moved forward to the beginning and also downloaded the meditations to play at the end of the day on a wind down before bed routine. For the last few months of my pregnancy I became a positive, calm happy person who was not afraid of the experience of labor and childbirth, and weird as it sounds I cherished being pregnant and savored every moment of it. I believe this was due to this relaxation routine. My husband heard me breath long and deep while I was listening to my iPod and I just asked him to remind me to do this if I forgot myself. And so that was my small bit of preparation.

I completely “went with the flow” in the days leading up to my baby’s birth. When I felt B.Hicks I thought, well its painless so its not the real thing, then I smiled to myself and thought perhaps next week…

hen I saw a little of the mucus plug appear in the afternoon of my due date I thought hmm maybe I aught to eat something and when I began to feel real contractions it still didn’t seem worrying - I believe I had let go of the logic and horror stories people felt they needed to share with me and decided to just go with the flow.

Someone told me to labor in the bathtub for some aqua pain relief so thats what I did. A candle, a CD playing slow slow classical music and my breathing was all I needed for the next 2 hours. My husband sat beside the tub and we giggled a lot between contractions. As a first timer it was almost miraculous to think there is no pain between contractions and I could refocus and chat and plan between each move of my baby downwards which took a little more focus!

We went to the hospital a short while after. On assessment it was found I was 9cm dilated - me a wimp who felt pain so easily, but that was it, shortly afterwards through breathing and smiling my baby was born. And although I admit to feeling drained and overwhelmed the feeling of having done this all my myself (ok with a wonderful midwife and some gas) I also felt so at peace and energized just a half hour later.

To think I had worried about labour for so long listening to others I can now laugh and say I did it, and I don’t really know how, my body just came good and I went with it.

My baby is beautiful, we are a wonderful little family and there is a calmness and happiness and appreciation of what we have that I don’t believe we felt before now. I truly feel blessed and have passed on the book and CD to another part of the world for someone else to have an experience as positive as mine.

This is a link to a beautiful video/story about a woman coming into her strength and eventually having the natural birth she had been striving for:

http://www.onetruemedia.com/otm_site/view_shared?p=2a4e81fbf0f66accb8afce

A wonderful woman shared this story with me:

She was the last woman from her antenatal class to give birth and every woman before her had ended up with a caesarean.

She was quite anxious.

Her labour went well for a while, though it was quite long. Then everything went pear-shaped and the doctor was starting to talk about a caesarean.

She was determined.

She remembered an exercise she did in acting class where the students were asked to act like they were experts in a certain professional field that they knew nothing about.

So she decided to act like she was an expert birther.

She began making the noises and doing the actions she thought a woman would do if she was a really good natural birther.

And it worked. In a short time, her labour was back on track and she birthed her baby naturally.

She now knows she IS an expert at birthing her own babies.

Sometimes you have to “Fake it til you make it.”

And sometimes you just have to believe in yourself.

When I was pregnant with my first baby, a client of mine told me this story. She changed my whole perspective on the possibilities of birth and probably changed my life:
When I went into labour, every contraction was like an orgasm. It was absolutely amazing and wonderful. The worst part of the whole thing was when the doctor held up my baby and I realized it was all over.

AFter hearing this story, I did my own research and found that birth hormones are lover hormones. Oxytocin is the same hormone in labour or in orgasm.

I attended the beautiful second birth of a friend that I will never forget. I arrived just after midnight and Elle was outside walking in the garden with her husband. She seemed to be just holding it together and it turned out she was in transition.

She decided to come inside and get into the birthing pool. She was on all fours and very vocal during contractions when she would grab my hands as well and hold tight.

Suddenly, she grew very still and quiet. We could barely hear her breathing. Everything seemed to have stopped.

After a few minutes, she raised her head with the biggest smile and look of ecstasy on her face. She said, “I think I’m with God!”

Then she birthed her baby girl.

I felt so privileged to be there. The spiritual energy in the room that night was awe-inspiring!

Pregnancy and the Miracle of Receiving a Baby’s Soul

by Jennifer Rodriguez-Allen

One of the most magical moments in my life occurred over seven years ago while I was pregnant with my daughter, Soka.
Prior to the conception of our baby, my husband and I prayed for her to come into existence. Because I had lost my previous child to miscarriage, I also spent my entire pregnancy praying to keep the spark of life inside my body. I also prayed for answers to problems concerning the conditions of our era such as how my daughter was going to survive and be happy on this polluted, divided planet.

“Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find”
Sometime during the eighth month of my pregnancy, I had the sensation of an incredible energy coming into the top of my head, through my body and into the womb. The sensation began in a small sac located on the crown of the head known as the pineal gland. To this day, the experience is best described as a golden shower of energy radiating through my body. The golden feeling lasted for two to three minutes. During this time, I asked for and received a name for my child. I also received an answer to relieve my fears, a dream told me that my child’s survival lies in a positive relationship with the natural world.
Receiving the soul of my daughter allowed for all my spiritual energy wheels, commonly known as chakras, to open. My pregnancy began at the red-colored base chakra of a purely physical existence and it finished with the opening of the violet-colored crown chakra of spiritual existence after I received a new soul. Remembering this experience has allowed me to keep myself spiritually clean and has given me a spiritual foundation to re-orient myself in times of crisis and confusion.

You do not need to be a spiritual person to experience this sensation – even spiritually neutral scientific thought recognizes that the existence of all living things is of both matter and energy.
I hope that fellow women will benefit from this openness about my experience by increasing their expectations on the positive aspects of becoming a mother. I believe that:
• We women should ask to experience the sensation of receiving a soul while pregnant in a somewhat conscious state.
• We women should ask to remember receiving our child’s soul if we did not have words to describe what happened at the time
• We women should ask for guidance on how to ensure the survival of our children and expect answers.
• We women should view conscious soul reception as a spiritually liberating process for us.
•The experience of receiving a soul can serve as a long term reference point to aid us in times of crisis.
• There is an ancient African expression that women are mothers of all things – good and bad. On the positive side, we need to use our experiences such as that of receiving the soul to re-affirm our good intentions towards this planet and towards others. On the negative side, we need to recognize that when we do not believe in ourselves or in our capacity to create and love, we contribute to the unjust treatment of others and to the further destruction of this planet.
• Finally, I would like to add that the development of our sense of our spiritual liberation has an enormous benefit for men because it truly allows them to increase their own spiritual capacity to do and make good things. Men, too, have suffered psychological damage by being forced to curse, damn and oppress women in the name of orthodox patriarchy. This includes the pressure to renounce their mothers and to betray their wives and daughters. To work to set yourself spiritually free and to allow space for the demonstration of inner peace contributes to the process of liberating man from a system that does not give him space to heal his wounds and be true to his heart. (Note Ladies, this might be our brothers, friends, lovers, husbands, sons or great-great grandsons. True freedom takes time and requires a sense of support. Please, don’t be discouraged and keep the love in your hearts!).
If you would like to share your own personal experiences of receiving a soul or would like to contribute to our community of exchange of information, visit our new community support website agooagii.suddenlaunch3.com to participate in our forum.

I heard this story at a homebirth conference and it reminded me of the amazing creativity of women in working with their bodies and their own psychology…

Dana was a very petite woman and she remembers clearly when she told her mother that she was having her baby at home. Firstly, her mother didn’t believe she could birth the baby naturally at home or in hospital. And secondly, she said, “You can’t even bear a little headache without pain relief, how are you going to handle giving birth???”

But Dana believed in her body. She knew she just had to go with her body, not fighting or tensing up and her body would open up as wide as she needed.

Throughout the labour she could be heard talking to her belly with each contraction, “Is that all you’ve got??!!!Come on! Bring on another one! That didn’t even hurt! I can handle more than that! Give me a really BIG one!”

Throughout her labour she kept encouraging her body to “give me something I can’t handle.” But with each contraction, she found she could handle it. And the next one. And the next one. Until the baby was born. At home. No need for drugs or interventions.

Sometimes its a good thing to really Challenge Yourself!!

Where to start…. Such a question as even minutes after my little boy was picked up by me I was still in denial that I had actually been in labour.

It was a Sunday, 2 days before your official due date. Jace came in to our bed just before your Dad had to go to work. We had a lovely cuddle whilst you were finding a more comfortable spot inside my belly. My last sleep in. I don’t think we got up till 9:30am.

I had a feeling that things had to get done today. I knew I had to somehow get out of the house and get a card for our wedding anniversary. I didn’t feel comfortable about leaving my home. I remember whilst at the newsagents the young girl serving us asked that dreaded question: “so when are you due?” I think I threw her when I said “tonight would be good just not tomorrow”. Whilst out I made a very spontaneous decision and decide to go and feed the ducks with Jace. We had just brought a loaf of bread. I was relaxed and nonchalant. We went back home and had lunch. All this before 11am. Jace had sleep so I had a big sleep as well.

3pm comes and Jace hasn’t stirred I know he didn’t actually go to sleep until 12:30pm, just reading his books. I get up and notice that I feel a little different. I have had a show. I’m now a little excited but know that it could be days away. I ring your Dad just to check that he will be home soon I’m quite anxious. I’ve also been walking heaps as it’s a little uncomfortable to sit. I can feel you moving and am happy knowing that all is well. What will be will be.

Your Dad comes home around 4pm and we decide I probably should call the midwife. He has noticed that I’m very blasé, and not really ‘there’. I know that my midwife won’t be back on duty for me until Tuesday, I’m not too concerned. I ring and the midwife is excited for me I explain that my tightening’s aren’t painful and they aren’t regular. I’ve only had a show. I say that I’m not in labour and just thought I should ring. This midwife isn’t too concerned but offers to come out. I don’t think its time and am not ready, my house is a mess. We agree that I will call back after Jace is in bed. My intuition is telling me that if I am in labour and it is going to be tonight it will all happen after Jace is in bed. I send your Dad and brother out to pick up some supplies for dinner, mmm homemade pizza. I rush around cleaning the house, floors scrubbed (on hands and knees might I add), bathroom immaculate, rubbish bins emptied, washing folded and put away.

Your Dad and brother come home and vacuum. I start preparing dinner. Now that I am standing still I’m in focus with you. I notice you are quieter and my belly is tight for a little longer then before. I decide to ring my Mum. I don’t tell her I’m in labour just that the midwives might be out tonight and not to worry. She laughs and says ok dear you’ll be ok.

We have dinner and bath Jace. I’m confused: I shouldn’t be eating if THIS is labour. It is only whilst reading you brother a story that I feel tonight could be the night that you enter our family. Jace gives me a big cuddle and accidently head butts my belly, you move around. The pain rushes through my body and stays in my back. I groan in pain, ‘down, out open’ I chant. It doesn’t let up, I feel as though I’m tearing down my spine. Jace calls out and reaches his arms up to me; he tries to climb out over the side of his cot. I call out to your Dad, “Scott, come quick”, I see the panic in my little boys eyes as I double over. Scott comes in and calms Jace. Finally I’m ok, the rush is over. I now have a back ache that is making me feel nauseous. I say goodnight to Jace and decide to time these contractions. The next one can’t have been more then 3 mins from the last. The pain is the same, I walk around flapping my hands, I bend over the bed and sway my hips. Oh where is the relief! Scott rubs my back. It ends. Something is telling me I need to get on the bed on my hands and knees and bounce. I do, I feel you move and a sense of relief comes over me. Down off the bed I wander around aimlessly. It’s too soon to get everything ready. I still need confirmation that this is IT. Another tightening. No pain just uncomfortable and a deep feeling. I call my midwife: “I’m still not in pain, I can walk through them, it’s so irregular, I just want to spew”. She laughs and asks why; I know I’m in labour when I spew. They are about 8mins apart and lasting about 30-45sec long. “I think we need to come out, it will take us a good hour to get to you.” I begrudgingly agree.

I announce to Scott the midwives are coming its time to get everything prepared. A look of ‘I told you so’ comes across his face and he goes about getting the birth pool set up, mattresses out and everything in its place. I’m still walking around with no sense of direction I get told to sit down and rest. It’s uncomfortable and frustrating. Whilst getting the midwifes things out of our wardrobe I feel sick. Luckily there is a bucket close by. I spew. That feels better. Your Dad comes in and asks if I’m in labour yet? I need to get clean and have a shower so I jump in the shower. Bliss I only want to rinse off but the water is so soothing and calming. I have another contraction maybe 5mins after the last; it doesn’t last long and is easy to get through by bending over into a squat under the water. I get out and am only mildly aware that the midwives are here. I say hi as I walk around our bedroom naked looking for my labour clothes. THIS IS IT I AM IN LABOUR. Its 8:38pm.

I offer for them to check the heartbeat and comment that I spewed. The midwife I spoke to on the phone laughs “so you’re going to have your baby soon then?” I’m not too sure. I need reassurance, they aren’t regular or hurting it’s so different to what I imagined. We chat about how I thought I would birth whilst Scott was at work and how Jace would be rushing for the phone and getting me a towel. Your heart beat is strong and everything is great. Your big brother is still awake and calling out. Not panicking just checking that all is ok.

We move into the lounge room and Scott leaves to make a cup of tea for the midwives. I haven’t met these particular midwives before I mention that they have attended a few friends’ births. I also ask how many homebirths have they assisted with. Upon remembering these questions later it might be taken as though I interviewed the midwives. I didn’t mean for it to come out impolitely. Both say a few but not many ‘official’ ones. I’m now back to being excited I’m staying home and my baby is going to be here soon. Another contraction I walk out to the bedroom walk up and down the hallway. Scott comes back in with the tea. I hear them telling him how calm I am and just so at ease. I walk back in and casually mention it is our wedding anniversary tomorrow. “Oh how many years”. “Just one. I don’t suppose I will be having sex tomorrow?” It was more a question and I was yet again after reassurance that this will keep going. Everyone laughed; I looked at your Dad and realized he was a little embarrassed. I think it is time for the birth pool. Your Dad goes to fill it.

I ask the midwives what they think. They said whatever I feel comfortable with. I asked about when I should have the group B strep douche (as I tested positive during pregnancy) before getting in the pool or after? I make it clear that I still don’t feel comfortable staying in the water to give birth. Just as one midwife prepares the douche another contraction starts I pace around the bedroom and then hear a strange sound as I feel warmness running down my legs. I stand over a bucket and catch most of it. “I think my waters have broken?” The midwife checks and says that we don’t have time to use the douche is that ok. I don’t care. I need to pee.

I move to the toilet: “are you sure it’s not the baby?” ‘YES’. Another contraction, things change. As I wee I feel you move, everything feels different. “Uaah No, baby” I yell and shake my head as I bear down. “We need a towel; do you have a towel to wrap the baby in?” “Yep it’s in the basket!” Your Dad yells out that he can’t find it. All I can manage to say is: “blue, bedroom”. It’s found after much discussion between the three of them. It doesn’t feel right sitting on the toilet all I can think about is how uncomfortable your Dad looks. “Do you want to get up” “Yes” “We’ll go into the lounge room, through the bathroom ok” “mmm” is all I can manage.

I get helped up off the toilet and we start walking through the bathroom between the shower and the bathroom. Down I go, on all fours. The tiles feel so good. Another urge to push as I arch my back and groan deeply. I can feel you moving down. I know its close but its all happening so quickly. Someone is asking if I want some pillows all I can do is nod my head. A midwife asks me to lift my hand I shake my head, it doesn’t feel right the tiles are so cool, I’m getting so hot and sweaty. I get reassurance that I will feel better after if I can just lift my knees and wrists. Somehow I manage and God it feels good.

I arch my back as I prepare for another push. I grunt and groan and wiggle my hips. I think I push for nearly a minute. It was a long one. I can feel the burning and it’s so hot. I feel as though this is the end of me I can’t go on. I wish someone would just pull the baby out. I am aware of you pushing your head down and then slipping back up. My mind ticks over, I don’t want you to move away, I want you to work with me. As I look up I can see your Dads mouth moving, but I’m not taking in what he is saying. I recollect my thoughts and realize I’m still at home, in our bathroom, I CAN do this. My baby is coming and it’s going to be really soon.

Your head has crowned. A give another little grunt after that push and your head slips out. With all that burning I can’t feel much just a slight extension of my body. A little heavier in the rear end. I’m offered a straw, I can’t move but am so hot. The straw passes through my lips and I drink in the cool juice. I’m getting uncomfortable again. Like I need to move my hips around in a circle and shake my baby out. My mind flicks to an image of a mare birthing her little foal. Where she is standing and does a full circle with the head out and by the time she finishes turning on the spot her foal has fallen out. If it were only that easy.

We are just waiting for another urge to push. I know this will be the last one. A midwife asks if I feel like pushing yet. I cautiously bear down. I stop. It doesn’t feel right. It feels so wrong like going the wrong way in a one way street. I shake my head. I know your head has been out for a while (3-4mins) and can feel you draining all the fluid that you have swallowed. It’s coming out your nose and mouth. I hear the midwives showing your Dad. You have your first photo taken and I think the flash startles you as there was some kind of reaction.

My legs tingle, and my back arches. I feel the power of another urge. Finally, I push with all my might. This must be the last push I don’t want to push anymore. The feeling is awesome. I grunt and groan as your body slides out. A midwife catches you and gently places you between my legs. I move backwards over you. I gently pick you up. So slippery and wet. You’re blue. I’m not panicked I gently place you over my forearm and rub your back as I say hello. More fluid is pouring out your nose and mouth. You cough and splutter and open your lungs. A huge scream fills the bathroom. I let out a big breath, as I had also been holding mine. My legs shake as I turn you over and sit back on my legs. “It’s a boy”. I knew deep within that you were a boy. I’m so thrilled that you are ok and healthy. “I didn’t even look, if he was a girl I would have been shocked” says your Dad. I can see the hugest smile come across his face. He is so proud.

We wrap you in the blue towel. I ever so carefully carry you out to the lounge room. You have a very short cord, just like your brother and I can only get you to just under my hips without it pulling through my engorged labia. Needless to say it is a very uncomfortable walk, me hunched over and you testing your lungs. I sit down and get comfortable. I lay you on belly. All is instantly quiet. Your skin is so beautiful, your eyes so big, blue and deep. You are content to just watch and nuzzle. Taking everything in. Your eyes meet your Dads as you look over my shoulder. You know who he is and wiggle when he places his hands on your back. We are left alone as a family whilst the midwives make calls and announce your arrival.

10mins later the after pains are getting stronger and I need to push. It feels different and harder work like going against gravity. I feel like I should change position but still want you on me. I tell the midwife that it’s there “just pull it out”. As I lean back on my arms and wiggle my bottom out it plops. It’s big and so glossy. We place it in the bowl beside us. At last I can get you into a better position to offer you my breast.

Your first feed is perfect. All in your own time about 40mins after your birth. You take one look at my nipple and latch on beautifully. It’s such a big feed for such a little baby. The midwives check me over only a few frontal grazes. I think these were from your cord. Your Dad cuts your cord 10mins before the midwives leave. They leave us at midnight to bond. You are fast asleep. But only for an hour. I grab something to eat and marvel at just how perfect you are.

You were born at 9:44pm and spent most of your first night awake and alert just taking it all in. Only going to sleep for an hour and a bit within your first 7 hours of being earth side.

After a few more breastfeeds you were just about to go back to sleep when your brother makes his appearance. You gurgle as your lying on my tummy and he rushes over and excitedly points at you. “bbub, babb” his telling us with huge smile. We explain that you have come out of my tummy and this is the baby. He gives you such a gentle kiss and tries to shove you off my tummy to kiss it. Nobody is going back to sleep now.

No transition and my contractions never got below 6mins apart. Technically I never was in established labour.

You weighed 3.54kg (7 pounds 15) and measured 49cm. Just perfect.

No interventions, No drugs. Just a peaceful, natural birth.

I am inspired to tell the story of my first birth. I am now a midwife and have caught more than 800 babies. But when I had my first baby I had never even seen a birth. I took a Bradley class and planned a home birth because I could not imagine going to the hospital. My labor started 10 days before my due date. To begin with and for about 12 hours, contractions were mild and more than 15 minutes apart–so minimal that I didn’t guess they could be labor. That day there was a potluck that was also my baby shower. My midwife was the last to leave the party, at ll pm. Right away after she left and all of a sudden, I was hit with contractions that sent me onto my hands and knees, begging my husband to push on my back. I did not feel contractions as starting and stopping, but as a constant pain that took over my body. But my husband and my friend took care of everything–pushing on my back, getting the midwife to come. I totally let go control for my body to do what it was doing, although I had no idea what it was doing. I knew this must be labor, but I wasn’t thinking at all. My body was just doing it. I spent most of the next 4 hours sitting on the toilet. Midwife tried to get me into the tub, but my body refused. Then I suddenly felt that I couldn’t do it any more. My friend woke the midwife up from her nap. I will never forget the comfort I felt when she gently put her hand on my belly. She led me to the bedroom, where I pushed my baby out 45 minutes later. I was on my hands and knees, just doing it without thinking at all. I am very grateful for whatever wisdom led me to prepare for my birth the way I did and then let go and let it happen.

It was 15 years ago when I had been in labour with my daughter for 14 hours. I had refused any medical intervention and at that point was exhausted and frustrated. She wasn’t lying right so the doctor suggested a caesarean section- which I did not want. My little one was fast asleep and would not move. I tried lying in different positions, as well as massaging my belly. Nothing seemed to work. And then I remembered that during my prenatal yoga sessions whenever I did this one particular pose, my baby in utero would always start moving. So while the doctor and nurses were outside my room planning my caesarean, I laid down on my back, pulled my knees up alongside my belly, and began rolling gently from one side to the other. And sure enough I felt my baby girl to begin to move. I felt a very strong twist- she was turning herself around into the right position for birth. With the onset of intense contractions, my midwife came in at just the right time. “I can see her black hair already,” she cried out. The doctor came running in, looking incredulous. It took 15 minutes more, but then all of a sudden there she was- the most beautiful child I could have ever imagined, my daughter Mira. Today Mira and I practice yoga together. Namaste, Mira.